Self-Regulation (Self Control

Children are not born with self-control. Learning self-control (or self-regulation) is one of their most important developmental tasks. Self-regulation has to do with a child’s

ability to control his or her emotions, respond in appropriate ways to frustration, get along well with others, and eventually become independent. Families and caregivers can help young children learn skills to help them control or regulate themselves.

“Self-regulation in early development is influenced by a child’s relationships with important adults in her life.

Providing the experiences, support, and encouragement that help very young children learn to self-regulate is a critical element in quality care.” (Linda Groves Gillespie and Nancy Seibel, in the Journal of the National Association for the Education of Young Children)

Tips for helping children to learn self-control

• Pay attention to the signs that a child is hungry, tired, or frustrated and respond consistently and predictably.
• As children grow, provide more opportunities for them to make their own decisions—such as what clothes to wear, what food to eat, and where to sit—by giving them several acceptable options. Increasing children’s freedom to make choices helps them become more mature.
• Provide reminders that help children make good choices and not become frustrated when they are not able to do what they want. For example, when it’s nap time, give them a heads-up five minutes ahead of time to finish what they’re doing.
• Anticipate problems by talking beforehand about what they can expect and what will be expected of For example, when you go grocery shopping.
• Be empathetic and show you understand the importance of their needs and feelings.
• Talk about what children can do, not just about what they can’t. Provide positive
• Create a safe place where children can go when they need a break, to calm
• Teach children to wait. This helps them not only learn self-control but also teaches them that other people have needs Don’t make the wait time too long, and give them something to do while they wait.

Resources

Children and empathy: Self-regulation skills. Kylie Rymanowicz, Michigan State University Extension. April 17, 2017. http://bit.ly/2mTyIRf

Developing Young Children’s Self-Regulation through Everyday Experiences by Ida Rose Florez. Young Children July 2011. http://bit.ly/2mjhX1n

 Help Your Child Develop Self-Control. Zero to Three. http://bit.ly/2kRAz8o

Contact

Programs and families can contact the program leadership directly at PAIECMH@pakeys.org with questions or concerns.

Additional Considerations

This project is supported by the Office of Child Development and Early Learning.